


The Difference Between Us

by FTS4ever



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Magical Realism, Alternate Universe - Vampire, Angst with a Happy Ending, Chen and Jongdae are different people, Fairies, M/M, Symptoms of PTSD, XiuChen - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-17
Updated: 2019-10-30
Packaged: 2020-09-06 04:24:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 20,869
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20285362
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FTS4ever/pseuds/FTS4ever
Summary: There had once been a vampire Xiumin had loved so much that even as tragedy struck upon his new lover, nightmares of the past haunted his every minute, reminding him of what he had lost.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I wasn’t originally gonna publish this anywhere so excuse if some things are inaccurate please.

Panting and out of breath, with cheeks flushed a bright pink and swollen red lips parted open Xiumin held tightly against the table edge behind him and threw his head back. The gasp of pleasure was caught in his throat making him grip the table tighter.

"D-dae-" he gasped, feeling the hot but gentle exhales hit his used-to-be pale neck. Now it was filled with red and purple marks, the bruises standing out vibrantly against his milky pale skin that contrasted so well against the dark colors.

A small chuckle reached his ears making the flush on his cheeks go darker.

"Oh Xiu, you don't realize just how good you look like this," Jongdae whispered in his ear, gently nibbling his earlobe and letting his lips land just below his ear. Xiumin closed his eyes, his hands clutching the table to keep himself from falling to the floor and lips parted open as noises of pleasure forced themselves out.

"So beautiful," Xiumin could feel his whole face flush at the compliment.

"So pretty." a pleasuring shiver ran through his whole body making him lick his lips, just waiting for more.

"So, so pretty Xiu, just like an angel." Xiumin's eyes snapped open, eyes greedy for more praise, for more compliments because that's what he loved above anything. Being praised just made him feel as if he was on top of the world, made him feel so special the way only Jongdae could only ever do.

He didn't say anything but his eyes screamed everything he wanted.

Praise.

Jongdae who saw this chuckled, pressed himself more firmly against Xiumin to the point where it was no longer physically possible. He knew what Xiumin liked to feed off of, he knew what what Xiumin yearned from him and it made a smirk tug his cat like lips.

Praise.

"So lovely, aren't you Xiu?" Jongdae held Xiumin's chin in between his thumb and index curled under. He smirked and leaned forwards, placing his lips at the corner of Xiumin's and whispered in a hushed murmur,

"Gorgeous."

He could feel the way Xiumin jumped at the words, the way he shied away almost to seem modest but always looked back at him with clear greediness in his mesmerizing cat like eyes. He chucked sending a shiver down Xiumin’s spine.

"Such a fascinating little thing you are," Jongdae nibbled Xiumin's lower lip, sucking it and biting down hard to the point where he could taste the sweet taste of blood touching his tongue.

"Stunning, like a divine little jewel." Xiumin closed his eyes again and tugged his lip from Jongdae's hold but when he felt Jongdae just bit down harder he didn't bother tugging it again.

He couldn't force down the whimper that escaped him, his lip throbbing in pain and pleasure that later came on but he could feel the blood that kept being sucked away. The whimper seem to make Jongdae lower the pressure on his lip, giving it one last suck before releasing it.

"Your blood, always so sweet and irresistible." Jongdae licked his lips, eyes glowing a soft red in lust. Flushing in pleasure and embarrassment Xiumin shakily raised his hand and held it against Jongdae's cheek. Once his hand gently made contact with Jongdae's face a small sigh escaped his mouth, the exhale just as shaky as his body was at the moment.

"Kiss me."

With no more words lips touched his with such great need that Xiumin couldn't help but gasp at. The need and lust filled the kiss with passion that made his whole body curl and seek out for one person alone; Jongdae.

Feelings such as euphoria and numbed sensations covered Xiumin head to toe, his hands slowly falling under his weight until he was all but holding himself up, instead he found himself laying on the table with his hands limply next to his head.

_"Beautiful."_

Xiumin's eyes fluttered shut at the word, a pleased sensation bubbled up his stomach and spread across his whole body at the compliment. Without any resistance he let Jongdae push his hips in between his thighs and didn't made a single protest when he lowered himself into his own body.

"D-dae-" he gasped, pink lips curling roundly into a moan that couldn't be forced down, the sound echoing in the empty room that only the two were inside of. The strength in his whole body left him as Xiumin let Jongdae mark him again without complains.

"So pretty." Xiumin screwed his eyes shut, putting more force on closing them as a pleased blush tinted his cheeks. It was almost pathetic the way he would turn so weak for each compliment, the way just a single word satisfied him so easily.

Pathetic really.

But there was nothing he could do. Not when he found himself gasping in pleasure and unable to create a single word before moans interrupted him, before he turned into nothing in Jongdae's fingers.

Xiumin bit his lip and winced when the sting of the bruise send a pain filled wave over to the inside of his mouth. But the pain was forgotten when he was forced to remember the pair of fangs that had sunk into the crook of his shoulder and neck.

Immediately he gasped when the sucking sensation started, slowly drawing out pure blood that once one tasted it they wouldn't be able to stop. Not until their hunger was satisfied but then again, once they tasted his blood nothing would ever satisfy their ever growing hunger.

"Dae! Jo-Jongdae!" Xiumin snapped his eyes open, body turning weak with each suck on his skin that was slowly turning paler around that area. His call didn't seem to make Jongdae stop, just whisper words like,

"So sweet Xiu, always so sweet...".

"Jongdae stop!" Xiumin forced himself to not submit to the pleasure, to the pleasing sensation that was slowly filling his body and numbing it so pleasingly. He couldn't let himself submit, not with Jongdae slowly falling into addiction.

"Stop! Jongdae! Don't!" Xiumin with all of his remaining strength pushed the vampire off his body and gasped, slapping his hand over the bruise that was still bleeding and covered the blood with his palm.

Xiumin panted in exhaustion , his body shaking in weakness that threatened to make him collapse any second now. He looked at Jongdae and gripped the table with his other hand in shock.

Instead of his usual light brown eyes that were usually filled with so much warmth and love for him, Jongdae's eyes were completely overpowered by lust and shadowed by hunger. 

Hunger for his blood.

Blood of a pure blooded fairy.

"D-dae-"

"Kim Minseok! How could you!"

Snapping out of his trance Xiumin snapped his attention to the door which had just slammed open and shakily got down off the table and ran in front of Jongdae.

"Luhan I can-"

"No! Minseok what in the world were you thinking letting Jongdae taste your blood! Were you trying to kill him, or even worse, yourself!" Luhan, followed by Yixing and Baekhyun ran inside the room.

"No! Not at all! It-it was an accident! I-" Xiumin's eyes widened at the feeling of fangs brushing over his pale exposed skin. Immediately he took a step forwards, away from Jongdae in case the vampire decided it wanted more of his blood.

"Minseok you realize the trouble you just caused by letting Jongdae taste your blood haven't you?!" Luhan narrowed his eyes at him and walked to Jongdae and him. Xiumin felt his body tensing up, "I-I didn't meant it!".

When he was just a few feet away from them Luhan stopped and stared at Jongdae for a few seconds before turning to Xiumin with a thin line on his lips. "Minseok, this isn't the first time you've let Jongdae taste your blood, is it?" he whispered in disbelief.

Xiumin opened his mouth to protest but after not being able to force the lie out of his lips he looked down, his hands hanging limply to his side in defeat.

"How could you! After what happened to _him_! How could you expose Jongdae to danger like that!"

Luhan surprisingly wasn't the one who had said this but instead Baekhyun whose voice cracked at the end. Xiumin raised his head, his eyes flashing a dark navy blue that only ever changed when a fairy's emotions were strong.

"Shut up!" he yelled, subconsciously creating a barrier around him and Jongdae. His emotions were wild, a storm filled with hurt and pain and broken love but so, so much longing.

"I-I know what I'm doing ok! Don't mention _him_! He-he's not Jongdae, he won't turn out like him!" Xiumin screamed, ice slowly appearing under his feet and turning the room colder and colder.

"I won't let it happen!" Xiumin lowered his voice realizing what was happening and forced the ice to disappear along with returning the temperature back to its previous temperature. He undid the barrier and walked to Jongdae, realizing the immobilizing spell he had subconsciously put on him.

Xiumin quickly undid it but before Jongdae could do anything he pressed his lips against his softly, "**_Somnum_**.". He caught Jongdae before he fell to the ground and laid him down where he had previously been in before.

"I'm sorry." he mumbled, sitting down on a chair and looking around his friends who were looking at him with a conflicted gaze. "I didn't meant to lash out at you Baek, and I wasn't planning on letting Jongdae drink so much of my blood Luhan." Xiumin played around with his fingers nervously.

"I shouldn't have mentioned _him_ either," Baekhyun murmur back in a apology like tone, "Its my fault you lashed out. I'm sorry.". Xiumin's eyes flashed a color navy blue with a hint of red in the irises at the mention of him.

Luhan sighed, "Everyone's apologizing and I don't want to look like an asshole by not apologizing. So sorry for being so hard on you Min.". Everyone turned to look at Yixing who stared back.

"Why are you looking at me for? I didn't even say a word until now." he pointed out.

Xiumin laughed softly, came out a little more forced than he had intended it to be. Luhan in the other hand rolled his eyes. "Min, you do realize the consequences of your actions right?" Luhan interrupted the silence that had befallen upon then.

"I do, but Lu, Dae, he-he won't turn out like _him_!" Xiumin pleaded looking back at Jongdae who was sleeping peacefully looking better than they had expected him after tasting a pure blooded fairy's blood.

"Min, what you did is breaking the law. There is nothing I can do to help you with that. Just letting a creature taste a fairy's blood is trouble, but a pure blooded fairy, a royal fairy is even worse." the half-blooded fairy shook his head,

"And to a vampire."

Xiumin looked down, his eyes turning a darker blue that almost was close to black.

"Were you trying to kill Jongdae? After what happened with _him_, he who was the strongest creature who could resist fairy blood, the only creature who's gotten away with tasting fairy blood without dying. You really thought Jongdae had a chance?" Luhan shook his head.

"I-I was careful, I only let him drink small amounts, never too much. It was-"

"Xiumin-hyung," Baekhyun interrupted, "if Chen,"

Xiumin flinched.

"Wasn't able to resist your blood then nobody can. You have to accept that Jongdae will not be able to resist either, if the only creature in the world who had been able to control himself with normal fairy blood but still failed with pure bloods then why would Jongdae be any different. He's-"

"You don't get it!" Xiumin accused them, voice raising up in volume and filled with anger and hurt. He sat up and glared at them with his eyes flashing different colors of bright orange in anger, navy blue of sadness and emerald green in envy.

"None of you get it! You don't have a mate who you're a danger to! You don't have to live in fear every day that you might slip up and accidentally kill him! You weren't born with blood everyone wants and would kill for!" Xiumin gritted his teeth.

"Was it wrong for me to try and help it! Was it really wrong for me to want to stop being such a danger to him! Was it that selfish of me to want happiness after almost three thousand years!" Xiumin's eyes burnt with unshed tears as he stood up, screams echoing in the room.

"You were putting him in danger! You could've killed him!" Baekhyun yelled back, fists clenched tightly as memories of the past burned in the back of his mind. The blood, the lies, disguises and screams, the tears and sobs.

"You could've killed him like you did with Chen! _My brother_!"

Xiumin jerked back at the accusation as tears slowly rolled down his pale face.

______

_Xiumin's POV_

_"Are you sure you can handle it? You know how tempting my blood can be Chennie." I bit my lip nervously, my thumbs doing that weird thing of playing together when I'm nervous. I heard a bright laugh that immediately made me feel warm all over._

_"Of course I am Minnie! I suggested it didn't I? Besides, I survived through fairy blood before! I’m Chen after all!" Chen, a pure blooded vampire who's just the sweetest and most playful but cockiest creature I ever met in my entire life._

_And also my mate._

_"But my blood isn't half blood like the ones you've had before, mine is worse." I frowned, refusing to meet his eyes because I didn't want to see his troubled expression. I always cause so much problems because I'm a pure blooded fairy._

_"Minnie, come here," I involuntarily raised my head and looked at him before slowly crawling to his arms that always made me feel safe and warm. And like always, they did their magic and forced me to relax._

_"I said I wanted this did I not? I survived through a lot Min, how many times have I put up with fairy blood being accidentally spilled in front of me and not attacked them? Many if I'm correct hm?" I nodded, knowing that Chen had the most stabilized self control I ever seen in anybody._

_"This isn't going to be easy, I know that. But Minnie, I don't want you to feel like you're a danger to me. I hate seeing you have to so careful in front of me, always having to watch your every action and restraining yourself from everything you want to do with me." his voice like always sounded so kind and gentle when he spoke to me._

_"I hate seeing you so sad because I am so weak, because you don't want to expose me to danger. I want to try it." I looked at his silver eyes that always told me the truth and finally gave in._

_"Okay."_

_"Great! Let's start!" a small kiss was pressed into my lips before I was sitting in the edge of the bed and Chen was hovering over me. I blinked at the fast actions that still sometimes dazed me because Chen just loves to show off how fast he is._

_I breathed out softly, exhaling as a feel of an arm curl up on my waist and another one on my chin. With a last look for reassurance at Chen I let my head be tilted to the side and expose my neck to him. I was nervous, that was a fact yet excited because if this worked then I won't be a danger to my mate anymore._

_"Relax, everything's going to be okay. If I can't handle it I will pull back and immediately go to Yixing, ask for that disgusting medicine and never try this again. If it works and I can handle it then we do this again next week until I adjust and get used to it." the latter option sounded amazing._

_"I'll be fine Minnie, trust me."_

_"I do, I trust you."_

_"Good."_

_I couldn't help shiver when I suddenly felt cold lips touch my skin. Fighting to argue to gasp I just closed my eyes and wrap one of my arms around Chen's shoulders and keep the other one clutching the bed._

_Small kisses were pressed against my neck and collarbone, each time the cold touch landed on my skin I would fight to argue to just let myself submit to him and ask for more. I was after all never good with temptations and he was always amazing at creating them._

_But finally I felt his lips stop in the crook of my neck and shoulder, part slowly before the sucking sensation started. I wasn't quick enough to stop the gasp from escaping but did have enough self control not to let out another noise that would probably add more heat to my cheeks which were already red enough._

_I could feel his lips turning upwards on my skin, a cocky smirk probably playing in them like always. The only thing I could do to that was shut my eyes tight and swear to make him pay for his stupid cockiness later._

_The sensation went on for a few minutes, my skin probably turning darker in shade in that spot with each second but at last it stopped. (Much to my delight because I don't know for how long I would've been able to hold all the noises that were begging to be let out.)_

_Instead of returning back to his previous actions I could feel sharp fangs graze my skin making me bite my lip. The presence of the sharp pointy ends were enough for me to notice but had yet to sunk in my skin._

_I didn't get to wait for long before the tips slowly entered and without warning sunk in completely._

_~_

_3rd Person POV_

_With his heart still hammering in his chest Xiumin screwed his eyes shut tightly and much to his very surprised didn't find himself whimpering in pain after all sharp fangs had sunk into his neck._

_But instead, the only thing the fangs caused was the feeling of being prickled very fast and any sort of pain disappearing. Then very slowly Chen tasted his blood, the liquid spilling all over his mouth and filling him with an intoxicating scent he had never smelled before._

_"C-Chennie?" Xiumin stuttered, cheeks flushed a soft pink and voice soft with worry. The only response he got was a small hum that made him gasp as the hum reached all over his body._

_~_

_'Sweet'_

_'Delicious'_

_'Amazing'_

_Chen slowly swirled the sweet liquid in his tongue, getting used to the flavor and savoring it as much as he could. It was sweet and felt so good, nothing he had ever tasted felt as delicious at this. He needed more._

_Without any pauses he swallowed and closed his eyes when the substance left a pleasing after taste behind in his tongue. It was mouth watering, he needed one more taste. Just a little bit more, I mean, its not like its gonna hurt anybody._

_-_

_Xiumin hadn't expected a small moan to burst out of his lips but the again he hadn't_ _ expected the sucking sensation on his neck to feel to pleasurable either. Without any sort of complains Xiumin stood still, blushing furiously as pleasurable tingles ran down his body._

_He could feel Chen gulp down a mouthful of his blood, nuzzle his head further into his neck and lick away all excess of spilled blood. And while all this happened he didn't do anything to stop him, after all his head had started to feel foggy, he was feeling terrible weak and every gulp send a wave of pleasure down his spine._

_"H-hey, I think that's enough." Xiumin whispered softly, his head starting to feel light and his heart starting to fill with worry because Chen was taking way too much blood for his first time. _

_His words got ignored._

_"Chen, I think you should stop. That's enough." Xiumin whispered a little breathy, his voice turning lower and lower in volume. He started to gently push his mate away with his other hand, strength rapidly being drained out of him._

_The only response he got was his hand being forced down._

_"Chen?" he questioned weakly, his hold on Chen's shoulders beginning to weakened after various gulps of blood from the latter. Xiumin could feel himself growing weaker each passing minute, his eyelids getting more tired and body shutting down, his head was foggy, so, so foggy._

_Why did he feel so tired all of a sudden?_

_*knock, knock*_

_"Xiu! You're late for tea with your parents!" Luhan's voice was heard from behind the locked door._

_Xiumin opened his mouth to yell something but his throat felt clogged up, he couldn't master the energy to scream anything back._

_Much less to tell Chen to stop._

_He becoming awfully weak by now, each second his blood was being drained more and more._

_"Ch-chen, s-st-stop. P-ple-please." Xiumin could feel his eyes slowly tear up, his heart was pounding loudly in his ears, his arms had fallen limply on his side and he was struggling to keep himself seated up. Any second now he felt ready to collapse._

_He had lost so much of his blood already._

_-_

_'Just a little more, a tiny bit more! Its not going to hurt anybody! You have to have more Chen! More! More! You need this! This is all you've been wanting your whole life! Drink more! More!'_

_Chen was in a dreamlike state where his head felt cloudy. He was drinking something but he wasn't sure what. All he knew was that it tasted so irresistibly delicious and that he needed more. He needed more to survive._

_If he didn't keep drinking he will die!_

_He just knew it!_

_-_

_"S-st-stop! Sto-stop please."_

_Xiumin wanted this to stop. He didn't want Chen to drink anymore of his blood. He felt so, so weak and ready to break any second now. If just trying to push words out of his mouth didn't take so much energy he would've pushed his mate away, but even keeping himself awake was grabbing too much of his energy._

_"Min! Your parents are waiting for you! Hurry up! I know Chen is in there with you! You can make out later! Hurry!"_

_Xiumin started to gasp softly, struggling to breathe in more air. The back of his eyes had started to flash white and black, his chest getting more tighter and tears just couldn't stop leaving his eyes._

_Xiumin didn't know where he found the energy to cry out in pain when Chen suddenly sunk his teeth into his neck deeper, the pleasing feeling of before being overpowered by pain crashing down on him on waves. Each greedy gulp of his blood created more and more pain making him somehow find his voice to cry out._

_"...Minseok. Is everything alright there?!"_

_The fangs dug deeper and nails were digging into his waist making him cry out in pain, his body was laid down into the bed so the body on top of his could press itself firmer on him._

_"Minseok! Open the door!"_

_Luhan's voice was no longer annoyed but worried, his knocks becoming desperate bangs and words become demands._

_Xiumin let out a small scream when Chen suddenly changed his position and sunk his teeth into the other side of his neck without any warning. It wasn't like before of the quick feeling of being prickled, but instead it felt as if small knifes were digging into his skin._

_"Kim Minseok open the door right now!" Luhan's desperate screams were unanswered. He started to bang his fist on the door, attempting to force his way inside._

_Xiumin let out a small whimper, the pain was making him more aware of his surroundings and making him realize just how weak he felt at the moment._

_Without warning the door flew open just as a wave of nausea hit him, sending his brain to blackout for a good 3 seconds._

_"Minseok!"_

_Xiumin could feel his heart pounding painfully in his chest, his eyes burning with tears and heart_ _ hurt. He watched with a blurry vision as Chen, his mate for many centuries now, the person who he trusted the most and loved so much was thrown off him._

_And worse of it all, he felt fear because of him._

_"What the hell is happening here!" Luhan yelled as he directed an attacking spell towards Chen, his cousin's mate and his best friend. He stood in front of the bed and couldn't shrug off the feeling of wrongness of fighting his friend._

_Shakily Xiumin raised his hand, brushed his fingers over his wound and whispered a healing spell that would close the wound. It took longer than usual seeing he felt so weak._

_"D-don't hurt him!" he found himself yelling at Luhan when his cousin threw a heavy looking object towards Chen who barely managed to avoid it. Luhan whipped his head around and glared at Xiumin in disbelief._

_"Kim Minseok do you not see that he's trying to fucking kill you!" Luhan screamed, directing back his attention on the vampire who was trying to kill his own mate. Xiumin could feel tears of hurt and betrayal slip down his pale cheek._

_"I-I know," he sobbed, his heart tearing itself apart when he remembered how close to death he had been because of his mate, "b-but I don't want to see him hurt either! Please don't hurt him!". It was impossible for him to watch Chen, the vampire he loved more than anyone get hurt for his sake._

_It didn’t matter to his heart what Chen was doing, it didn’t care that he was trying to kill him. All his heart cared about was the vampire who long ago had made him fall in love with him. All his heart cared about was for the vampire’s safety._

_"For fuck's sake Minseok! Open your fucking eyes! Chen is trying to kill you! Stop trying to protect him!" Luhan no matter how much he cared for his friend was forced to accept that this was no longer his friend but a monster who would stop at nothing to drink all of his dear cousin's blood._

_"I know! B-but I love him Lu, I can't stop myself from trying to protect him!" Xiumin whispered brokenly, his eyes full of tears and his heart breaking further at the sight of his mate so desperate to kill him._

_No matter what he did or looked like Xiumin knew he would never stop loving Chen, and at the moment even as his own mate tried to kill him his heart still worried for his well being._

_The fight between Chen and Luhan was destroying the whole room, breaking everything near them and further destroying both fairies in the room._

_Xiumin's eyes widen when he heard Luhan start the incantation of a deadly spell. He immediately scrambled out of bed, his vision spinning for a second or two before he managed to compose himself._

_"Stop!"_

_Luhan froze in the middle of the incantation, the spell disappearing into nothing. "Kim Minseok! Get way from him!" why was his cousin so stupidly in love! Couldn't he see his own mate was trying to kill him at any cost._

_"N-no! H-he's fine now!" Xiumin cried out in desperation as he turned towards his mate and sobbed, heart filling with hope as he threw his arms around him._

_Chen's eyes were back to their usual silver color, no longer red._

_Luhan clenched his jaw._

_Something was wrong._

_"I-I thought I l-lost you!" Xiumin didn't care about anything as he cried in his Chen's arms. His Chen was back, his sweet and kind Chen, his cocky, playful Chen. He was back and Xiumin didn't pay attention to anything else._

_Nothing mattered, not when Chen was back. Xiumin put his guard down, putting his whole trust on the very vampire who minutes ago had tried to kill him with his every being._

_"I-I thought you had be-been driven cr-crazy because of me! I th-thought I wouldn't s-see you again!" Xiumin could feel tears slipping down his eyes faster than he could keep up with._

_"Minseok, step away from him." Luhan warned._

_Xiumin ignored him, wrapping his arms around his mate's neck and burying his face in his neck. "I-I'm sorry Chen, I'm s-so sorry. I put yo-you in so m-much danger, I'm sorry." Xiumin closed his eyes, letting himself surrender to his mate who he trusted the most in the whole world._

_"I-I love you."_

_"Me too, I love you too, Minseok."_

_"Xiumin watch out!"_

_With a gasp of surprise Xiumin felt an invisible barrier spring up (probably Luhan had made). He _ _felt his heart drop when he realized _ _the person who he had pleaded forgiveness and declared his love for was nothing but an impostor._

_Chen in fact had not returned to normal but had disguised himself as he had previously been before he turned into the monster he was now._

_"No." Xiumin dropped his head, his heart shattering when the cold truth hit him in the face._

_Chen was gone._

_And there was nothing he could do about it._

_The monster who was now in front of him had done nothing but play with his feelings. He had disguised himself as what he knew was Xiumin's weakness was and used it against him to take advantage of him._

_"Minseok snap out of it!" Luhan yelled as he blocked a spell that had directed towards his cousin who helplessly stood there._

_"Chen, please, its me. Stop fighting. You don't want to do this, I know you don't want to do this. This isn't you." Xiumin didn't want to hurt him, but he knew Chen was beyond cure._

_The only response he got was a thunder of lighting being shot towards him._

_”Please.” he pleaded one last time, knowing this was the last chance. All he received was emotionless eyes glaring at him._

_"I'm sorry." Xiumin put his hands in front of him, tears endlessly slipping down his pale face as he slowly made a sign with his hands._

_"Requiem Aeternam."_

_And with that Xiumin's knees buckled weakly under his weight, his eyes filled with tears and heart shattered. His cries echoed in the castle for many hours._

"I'm sorry, Baek I'm so sorry." Xiumin sobbed, his eyes full of tears that rolled down his face as the memories of his previous mate dying by his own hands haunted him. "I didn't want to do that, I would've rather let him finish me off but there was nothing I could do." he clenched his fist.

"He-he wouldn't have wanted to live like that, driven mad and killing other creatures for blood. He wouldn't have been living. Death was the most merciful thing you could've given him." Baekhyun hugged Xiumin, tears running down his face as his heart ached at the memory of his dear little brother.

"He loved you Xiumin, he loved you so much and he loved every creature he met. I'm sorry for accusing you like that. It wasn't fair." Baekhyun and Xiumin had created a bond long ago when they had first met, immediately understanding each other and always trying to help one another.

"But I did Baek! I killed him! I killed your brother, I killed my _mate_! I should've been more careful, shouldn't have let him convince me into letting him taste my blood! Why was I so stupid!?" Xiumin sobbed, regret and self hatred overtaking his heart once again.

"If I had just said 'no' to him he would still be alive! If I had just said ‘no’ he-"

"But then you wouldn't have met Jongdae!"

Xiumin immediately shut up at the mention of his current mate who he had been with for almost a century now. After Chen had died he went on for almost three thousand years grieving over his previous mate, hurting and hating himself by replaying the memories over his head.

But then almost a century ago he had came across a half-blooded vampire who was cheerful and kind, all smiles and eager to finally find his mate that he would finally call his.

His voice

His face

His smile and laughter 

It reminded Xiumin so much of Chen that the first time he had seen him he had broken down and ran away. After that Xiumin saw him everywhere and all he could do was run away.

But after Luhan, Baekhyun and Yixing, his best friends had enough of his escaping shit they forced him to meet Jongdae and talk to him.

And it turned out Jongdae was nothing like Chen.

*85 years ago*

_"Hi! My name is Kim Jongdae! I'm a half-blood vampire! Nice to meet you!"_

_The smiling vampire stuck out his hand in front of him in greeting, his voice so tauntingly familiar that it broke Xiumin's heart._

_Taking a deep shaky breath Xiumin forced himself to not think of him. Jongdae wasn't him and he will never be. They were two completely different people no matter how much alike they looked and sounded like._

_"Minseok, Kim Minseok," Xiumin looked down, his throat getting twisted into a knot, "p-pure blood fairy.". The word 'pure blood' send a wave of hatred towards himself, almost coming out like a hiss._

_"Woah! Pure blood! I've never met a pure blooded fairy before! Is it true you guys-" before Jongdae could finish his sentence he stopped himself and looked down with a faint pink blush on his cheeks._

_Xiumin tilted his head, 'His rambling is cute. He never did that. He was always confident of his words and cocky over all'. That was when Xiumin started to notice the difference between Jongdae and Chen._

_"S-sorry, when I'm excited I tend to ramble a lot. I've been really excited to meet you since I first saw you half a year ago. You were always so calm and always looked so pretty like oh my god, if I wasn't already gay I would turn gay for y-" Jongdae stopped his rambling and looked down again, his entire face flushed pink._

_Xiumin's mouth had dropped open, his cheeks heating up in a way they hadn't done in centuries. His heart had for some weird reason started to beat faster the more Jongdae rambled and was slowly filling with warmth._

_'I'm blushing.' he thought, raising his hand and putting his fingertips against his warm cheeks. Having done nothing but cry and weep for many centuries now Xiumin was surprised to find out he still had the ability to blush._

_'And my heart is beating too fast.' he noticed, his hand dropping to his chest where sure enough his heart was pounding fastly against his ribcage. Having not felt none of these things in so long Xiumin found it all weird, as if it was his first time all over again._

_"Um, are you ok? I'm sorry if I weirded you out, my friends always tell me that I shouldn't ramble but I can't help it. It becomes sort of-"_

_"I-it's fine." Xiumin put his hand up to silence the rambling vampire who looked at him hopefully._

_"I'll grow out of it one day I swear!" cried Jongdae pleadingly, worried for Xiumin who hadn't said anything after he had silenced him a few minutes ago._

_Xiumin shook his head, "No, its fine. I just was a little startled by what I'm feeling right now." Xiumin had always been told to be honest and that's exactly what he did at the moment. After so many centuries embarrassment hadn’t crossed him again, not since.._

_"Huh? What is it? Is something wrong?" suddenly Jongdae changed, his light brown eyes flashing in worry and voice turning serious in a way that Xiumin hadn't expected at all the childish vampire to be able to at all._

_"No, nothing's wrong. Its just that, I feel a little weird right now because my heart is pounding really fast and I feel, happy. I haven't felt like this in a long time and it feels strange and sort of new after so long." Xiumin whispered, his eyes falling down on the table._

_"Well now you can be sure that you will feel like that more often because I swear in my life that I will make you the happiest fairy you have ever met!" Jongdae grinned at him, his smile holding a promise that Xiumin couldn't help but be reminded of-_

_No._

_Jongdae was not Chen._

_Jongdae was not Chen and he will never be. _

_They were 2 different persons and Xiumin made a promise to himself that day._

_That he will never compare the 2 again._

_"I'll hold into your promise then."_

_____

"Xiumin, Chen, he wanted you to be happy. He wanted you to find happiness even if it wasn't because of him. He loved you more than anything and I bet he shaking his head right now because you're punishing yourself like this." Yixing for the first time spoke up, his eyes glassy and strange looking.

"_'Remember my promise even if something tragic happens. Remember to be happy, that's all I ask.'_" Yixing's voice turned like a painfully familiar voice everyone was connected by.

"Yixing stop!"

Xiumin held his hands over his ears, his heart tearing itself in million pieces at the sound of Chen's words ringing through his ears after so many years. Just when he thought the wound in his heart was finally closing it was cruelly ripped open again.

Yixing lost the glassy look in his eyes and shook his head, "Woah! Would you look at that! My mind went blank for a few seconds." he blinked repeatedly. When he noticed Xiumin's condition he lost his smile and gaped when he realized what had just happened.

"I'm sorry! I didn't thought talking about him would make-"

"I-its fi-fine." Xiumin shakily stood up from the floor, his hand covered in blood from his neck and slightly dizzy by all the blood loss of before.

"Let me help you with that!" Yixing was immediately next to him, hands in front of his neck and a few seconds later a greenish glow appeared under his palms. The wound immediately closed down and energy and strength surged back up in Xiumin's body.

Nobody Xiumin had ever met in his entire life could heal like Yixing could. His friend was a unicorn, a mystical creature of the past who was one of oldest mystical creatures there was out there. Their speciality was healing.

And even for a unicorn, Yixing was an extraordinary healer who nobody Xiumin had came across could match his skill. Fairies could close wounds only, that he could easily do. But healing them completely was something only unicorns could do.

"Thank you." Xiumin whispered, feeling more refreshed than he had felt in so long. But even with strength and energy back in his body his mind was still tired. Everything felt so painful familiar.

"I can do more you realize right?" Yixing walked over to Jongdae and grabbed his hand, closing his eyes and exhaling out gently.

"What do you mean?" Xiumin immediately jumped next to them.

"....I see....I have that....that too.. that might be a little hard to aquire...hmm." Yixing's eyes snapped open. "Oh! This is great Xiumin, I'm not too late!" he practically glowed as he gave Xiumin a bright smile.

"Yixing you're killing me here! What is it!?" Baekhyun yelled in desperation. He thought of Jongdae as his little brother. And it was not because Jongdae and Chen looked so much alike but because Jongdae was just a child-like person. He felt the need to take care of him.

"There is a cure to get Jongdae back to normal! Usually after taking more than 2 mouthfuls of fairy's blood you are driven to insanity as we all know." Xiumin dropped his head, nodding silently.

"But because Xiumin just happens to be the idiot he is and let Jongdae taste his blood many times before, the effect was rubbing off. He is currently in a state where he is fighting with himself to gain back control and we can help that with a special cure!" Yixing practically skipped over to Xiumin.

"What you did was stupid and dangerous. You have no excuse for what you did other than wanting to give Jongdae your entire self without restrictions. How you did it however was dangerous and you should never attempt it again." Yixing brushed Xiumin's hair back with his hand gently in a manner that made the young looking fairy feel safe.

"I know." Xiumin mumbled, closing his eyes and thanking every angel there was out there for not taking his second mate away like the first one. "Good." Yixing grinned and skipped over to Luhan.

"We need blood from an angel that will heal any injury, a hair from a unicorn that will heal any addiction, a tear of a phoenix that will regain life, blood from a human to remind him what he's supposed to eat," Yixing looked at Xiumin with a raised eyebrow.

"And last, 3 droplets of blood from a lightning dragon that will eliminate all traces of the toxic blood he has currently in his body and will strengthen his powers." Yixing finished it off, frowning slightly at the last ingredient.

"Why so much blood?" Luhan asked, noticing only 2 ingredients were not blood, the hair from the unicorn and tear of the phoenix.

Yixing hummed, "By mixing all of this blood together not only will it purify Jongdae from his hunger but will overpower Xiumin's blood which currently runs through his veins.".

"How long do we have?" Xiumin asked, not daring himself to touch Jongdae after all he had already put the young vampire through.

"Until he either gains back control or the hunger overpowers him. Whichever comes first." Yixing was never one to put things very kindly. He was blunt and sometimes came off as a little insensitive. As a unicorn who were pure down to their very existence he couldn't lie causing him to be a very blunt person.

"What ingredients do you have already?" Baekhyun asked before Xiumin could say something back. They didn’t need them arguing, not right now when things were so difficult.

Yixing paused and tilted his head, "Everything has to be fresh so currently nothing.". 

And sometimes was also a little helpless.

"I can ask Joonmyeon for the angel blood, one of my brothers for the unicorn hair-"

"Chanyeol can donate the tear of phoenix. His partner is a Phoenix." Baekhyun immediately blurted out.

"All we have to do to gain the human blood is go to the muggle world and grab one of them." Luhan proposed, never having exactly been kind to humans after they tried to experiment of his little brother who had thought telling and showing a human that he was a fairy was a good idea.

The young fairy had barely been around 8 years old in fairy years, around 16 years in human years. He was young and adventurous, eager to learn and too curious for his own good. Which later turned against him.

"Yeah, we have everything except the last ingredient which I don't know where I can get a lightning dragon-"

"I-I kn-know one. . ." Xiumin whispered, staring at Jongdae longingly and wishing for him to just be safe. But no! He just had to endanger his mate just like the last one.

"You do?!" never had any of the 3 heard Xiumin ever mention a lightning dragon.

"He, Ch-Chen," Xiumin still flinched at the name, "once took me to one of his adventures. It was his last one before the, 'accident'. He had already created a bond with the dragon because dragons will see creatures who hold the same love for other creatures as their own. They had the same element.".

"I met the dragon in his dragon and human form. If I'm correct he hasn't moved from that location for the past millennium." Xiumin exhaled shakily.

"Do you have a way to contact him? Dragons don't do well when you enter uninvited territory." Yixing looked at Jongdae one last time before nodding. "I don't know if this is going to work but all you meet me in my room in 3 hours. I will brew the potion there and give it to Jongdae in the infirmary room.".

Before anybody could disagree Yixing and Jongdae had already disappeared.

~

"You dare enter my territory uninvited!?"

Xiumin looked at the floor, his heart speeding up at the familiar voice he hadn't heard in over three thousand years. And just the reminder that the last time he had been here, the person who brought him no longer lived.

It haunted him.

"And I see my dear friend is no longer with you."

A pang of hurt hit Xiumin like a slap in the face, making him blink back tears at the memory of _him_. No matter how many years passed a piece of his heart will always love him and long for only him.

Don't get him wrong, he loved Jongdae like crazy. He was ready to give up his own life for him if needed. He was scared shitless at the moment, terrified even because he was so close to losing Jongdae. He loved him, he loved Jongdae; that was a fact.

But at the same time, he still loved Chen, his first mate, his first love, the vampire who took all his firsts and returned his love just as equally. A part of Xiumin will always be with him, he had stolen a piece of his heart and now belonged to him.

"I'm afraid to say he's passed on." Xiumin whispered with bitterness fresh in his tongue. The memory of Chen burned his heart and was imprinted in his mind for as long as he lived.

"He was a strong creature, it was no normal decease the reason for his demise."

Xiumin's jaw clenched at the words, his heart taking a hit at the last word. '_I was the reason for his death. It was I the one who caused it all_' forcing himself to no start break down like he always did everytime his previous mate came up Xiumin struggled to speak again.

"An accident that he unfortunately was in the middle of, was the cause for his end."

Xiumin bit his lip and blinked rapidly. Chen hadn't unfortunately been in the middle of it, he had been the center of it.

"I see, its truly a shame. You have my deepest apologies."

Choking back a sob Xiumin blinked fastly, his eyes burning with the desire to weep and cry because even if so many centuries had passed the pain of losing him still burned painfully in his chest. Nobody would ever be able to easy the pain.

"...you reek of another one my old friend."

The accusing spat of words made Xiumin realize he didn't have time to mourn over Chen's death, he had three thousand years for that already. Jongdae needed him at this moment.

"Its my current mate, Kim Jongdae." Xiumin in order to get what he needed to help Jongdae needed to say the truth. Above anything dragons valued loyalty and honesty, if Xiumin even tried to lie the dragon will not even consider helping him.

"You have replaced my dear friend already?! Unacceptable!" the bitter spat of shock and anger was clear in the ancient dragon's voice.

Xiumin gritted his teeth, "I have not replaced him! Nobody will ever replace him!" he snapped, forcing himself to calm down and show respect to the dragon. "I have walked long enough in this planet and suffered enough because of his absence, it was time I moved on." Xiumin clenched his fists.

"Lies! You have replaced my friend!"

"Is three thousand years of longing and pain not enough for you to understand my grieving!" Xiumin blurted out, his gaze snapping towards the dragon. His voice was angry and hurt, filled with despair and pain because those words made him feel so guilty for finding happiness while Chen wasn't even alive.

"Three thousand years? That would mean my dear friend left not much longer after his last visit." Xiumin could hear the sadness in the dragon's voice, reminding him that it wasn't only him that had been hurt because of Chen's absence.

"T-that's correct, just a few years after his last visit he perished." '_because of me_' Xiumin whispered in his head, not ready to admit that out loud just yet. The guilt still burned inside him every day, tearing him apart and destroying every bit of process being with Jongdae created.

"It saddens me such an amazing and kind creature would leave this world just like that."

Xiumin lowered his gaze to the ground, his heart longing for him just like it always did. "He had been far too reckless many times. It was bound time before it was too much for even him." he whispered, closing his eyes with his heart still aching at the memory.

"It is truly a shame, you have my sympathy, my friend."

That was his cue.

Xiumin could feel it, the air shimmering with magic. He could feel the tingle of energy, smell the sweetness and bitterness of power. Bathed in the light and darkness all colliding into a single place before exploding and scattering into nothing stood a young handsome man.

Finally opening his eyes Xiumin looked at a young man who despite his physical appearance showing youth, his eyes held history, his aurora hung in wisdom and smile spelled experience.

"Archíos." Xiumin whispered under his breath, entranced by the beauty and grace of the creature in front of him. With his dark maroon hair, pale skin and striking blue eyes that held a tinkle, it was no surprise that Xiumin stared more than he should have.

"Xiumin." the handsome man greeted him with a nod, a small smile on his rosy lips. Archíos walked towards Xiumin and stopped a few feet away from him. 

"I find it amusing you still react the same way you did the first time you saw me. I bet your current mate wouldn't be as pleased if he were to be here right now." Archíos brushed Xiumin's cheek with the back of his palm making the fairy blush.

"Its a natural reaction Archíos," Xiumin muttered softly, looking away, "Every, either creature or mortal who sees a dragon in human form will be attracted towards them. It is no fault of mine but I do have the restraint to not commit infidelity.".

"And I thank you for that." Archíos nodded, putting his hand back on his side, "You out of everyone knows how problematic that can be, to be something that might cause problems.".

Xiumin sighed and nodded, remembering the many times he had pulled attention unintentionally and caused many conflicts because of it. His whole kind was like that and understood dragons to some degree.

"I do, Archíos, I've come here today to ask for a favor." he started, watching Archíos raise an eyebrow in a way that led him to believe that was his cue to continue. "My mate, he's under difficult circumstances that require your help." he murmured, hoping he didn't sound as desperate as he felt.

"My blood." Archíos said softly with a knowing gaze that made Xiumin's mouth run dry. Under the crystal blue eyes, with their cold yet hot gaze and small smile that was in between a frown and a smirk, finding words seem too difficult for Xiumin.

"How did. . ."

Archíos laughed, a soft musical and magical sound that felt like velvet against your fingertips, "Everyone wants my blood Xiumin. Even fairies cannot resist it." he brushed his hair back with the tips of his fingers.

"I'm sorry." Xiumin blurted out. He knew how horrible it felt knowing you were wanted only to be used as a tool. To be sought for only advantages you could provide. To be yearned only for what you could do.

"Its fine, as a human being wanted for uses like this doesn't feel as tragic as when I am in my dragon form. I understand why parts of me are so special and for the desperate seems like the only remedy." Archíos again walked closer to Xiumin and slowly hugged him.

"I would gladly help a friend of mine Xiumin. You are in need of me and I am aware that only in desperate times you would ask this. Chen, he was my friend and you are my friend too. For anything you need, I will always try to help." Xiumin rested his head against Archíos shoulder and closed his eyes.

After all the chaos that had happened a few hours ago, all the fear and desperation, being hugged by someone you knew wasn't going to judge you felt so refreshing. He felt tired, so, so tired and the warmth his old friend gave him was like a breath of fresh air.

"Thank you." Xiumin mumbled, letting his arms rest limply on his sides. "Do not thank me for showing compassion, its the least I can do." Archíos leaned back and showed a sympathetic smile.

"Not for showing compassion," Xiumin shook his head, "for being here when I need somebody, for helping me in desperate times." he whispered, looking up to the blue eyes of a friend who he just realized missed so much.

"Its no problem, for creatures in need of help I will always rush to extend a hand. You, my friend, need a companion, and if that's what you seek, then that's what I shall be." Archíos stood back and showed a small smile that made Xiumin tear up.

"You must be sad too Archíos, it was selfish of me to not inform you about Chen," Xiumin still flinched at the name as it slipped past his lips, "I just didn't want to admit it aloud because it would feel more real.".

Archíos lost the tinkle of mischief and happiness in his eyes and instead frowned, "I understand Xiumin, losing your mate its an unexplainable experience no-one would ever want to be in. I admit it upsets me to find out so late, but his memory will always stay as long as there is someone to remember him." he nodded at his words.

"He's still here," Archíos pointed as his heart, "as long as you remember him and he will always be Xiumin.". With a last warm smile and the twinkle in his eyes returning, Archíos stepped back and morphed back to his dragon form.

"We better leave soon, time waits for no-one my old friend and I believe your mate awaits your return," the dragon cleared his throat, "and soon.". He bent down and Xiumin understood what he meant.

"You fly fast my dear friend but it would be more convenient for me to carry you." nodding Xiumin rushed towards the dragon and with wings appearing behind his back he flew upwards and landed gently in the back of the dragon.

"Thank you." he whispered softly as they flew out of the cave and back to Jongdae who was battling for his sanity.

________

Just in before arriving at Yixing's, Xiumin requested Archíos to turn back to his human form explaining that it would be easier and more convenient seeing they couldn't fit a dragon inside his room.

Archíos held no arguments against the request and upon reaching the castle changed. (Xiumin might've stared again for a few minutes but not like he would admit it.). They walked towards the castle, rushed towards the tower and knocked on Yixing's door.

"Come in, come in." Luhan opened the door, panting and a little bit of sweat had formed in his forehead. With a slightly warm face, he rushed the two inside the really hot room where Yixing and their friends were.

"Just in time Xiumin," Baekhyun huffed, taking a deep breath before looking up to the fairy. He looked at Archíos and stopped his scolding, "And who might you be?" he asked a little more sweetly, brushing his hair to the side and shooting the stranger a sweet smile.

(Xiumin rolled his eyes)

"The donor of blood for a certain impulsive vampire who might just be the stupidest I have yet had the pleasure to meet." laughed Archíos, making everyone stare at him with the same adoration sort of eyes Xiumin had made at him the first time they had met.

(The lad still felt himself blush embarrassedly at that when he remembered the amused snicker a certain someone who had introduced them in the first place)

"We need three drops of blood of the dragon and stir it two times counterclockwise before adding the tears of the phoenix which should be stir twice clockwise, once counterclockwise and finally four clockwise again. The antidote should be done by then." Yixing murmured, pausing and stirring again.

"We need the blood now!" Yixing snapped his head to look at his friends who were practically flirting with the new cute guy Xiumin had brought. He raised his eyebrow because he had never seen a fairy be affected like this and Baekhyun, as adventurous as he was, never showed a sign of unfaithfulness towards his mate.

"Of course, Yixing am I correct?" the new guy turned to look at him with charming blue eyes and a dazzling smile. (Archíos tried not to be smug but he already was expecting another new fan.)

"Correct, now could you please give me the blood," Yixing send him an argent smile, "my friend's in the verge of losing his sanity and I really need your cooperation to finish the potion." he concentrated back of stirring the antidote, waiting for the sample of blood.

Archíos froze, this was the first time a creature had been completely unaffected by his charm and it felt weird. No creature could ignore the call of a dragon, their charms. All creatures desired something to be attracted to.

Unless...

"Unicorns, pure down to their very bones, can't be charmed nor manipulated by anything. They repel all sorts of magic that will attract them or put them in danger. Even dragons can't charm them." Archíos raised an eyebrow, grabbing the silver knife and cutting his palm.

"I see you're well informed, but that won't really make a difference against the barrier now will it?" Yixing gave him a charming smile, grabbing his hand and counting each droplet of blood that landed on the clear potion.

"None." agreed Archíos pulling his hand back and watching in fascination as Yixing expertly brew the potion, stirring at all the correct times and adding the last ingredient with perfect accuracy. And once he finished it the antidote was perfect.

"We have to get to Jongdae, now." Yixing with a frown said, putting the substance into a container and hurrying down towards the infirmary. Everyone hurried along with him, all terrified and scared to see if it would work.

_____

With his heart hammering in his chest and his legs weak Xiumin entered the infirmary room, his heart ached at the sight in front of him.

Jongdae's usually cheerful grin was gone, replaced by a limp thin line. He was pale, too pale to look alive. Normally he wouldn't ever be able to sit still but no movements came from him at the moment.

And he didn't look as if he was breathing.

"He's fine Xiu, he's breathing is very slow and faint because his heart is trying to slow down the spread of venom in his bloodstream. He won't die." Suho's comforting parent like voice reached his ears, making him breathe out in relief.

"He looks an awful lot like him, if you hadn't told me the news earlier I would've believed they were the same person." Archíos voice mumbled next to him, his words sad and longing.

"He's my own personal hell." Xiumin laughed humorlessly, feeling so defeated and in battle with himself because this all felt like too much for a day. And it honestly was, he felt like collapsing and never waking up again.

"Do not punish yourself for what happened my dear friend, however he left it was not a fault of yours." Archíos shook his head, sending him a comforting look that should've made Xiumin feel better. But being so close to Jongdae made him feel so much worst.

"But it was Archíos, I killed him. My blood and stupidity killed him. It was my fault!" and here he was again, rambling in self-pity and pain all over again. The words hit him with the same self-hatred and anger towards himself like the day it had all happened.

"Don't take all the credit, you yourself said it. His recklessness was one day going to catch up to him. And that was true, don't blame yourself. Let go of that hate Xiumin, it will do you no good hating yourself for something from the past while someone else in your present needs you at the moment." Archíos looked towards Jongdae.

Xiumin looked at Jongdae and gulped, afraid of what more damage he was going to do to him. "I could hurt him again Archíos, he's so fragile. One wrong move and I could kill him. One mistake and he could end up like him. Just a simple careless move and I could-"

"You could but you won't Xiumin."

"You don't know that!" Xiumin snapped, tears blurring his vision, "All I need is to fuck up once and it would all be over! I'm dangerous and I hate myself for it!" he looked back at Jongdae who Yixing was slowly forcing the unconscious vampire to drink.

"It is true my dear friend that I do not see the future nor know if you're going to mess up again." Archíos acknowledged, "But all I do know is that you will try your hardest not to and you will never do it purposely. And as long as that stays true, I think your mate will forgive you.".

Xiumin opened his mouth to argue but he had really no response because he truly wanted that to be true. He loved Jongdae and he couldn't stand the thought of his mate despising him.

"He's good for you Xiumin, you're good to him my friend and as long as you don't give up I believe you two can go through anything." Archíos pushed him towards Jongdae who was slowly stirring up.

Gasping, Xiumin slowly almost timidly approached Jongdae and gave a sob of relief when Jongdae opened his eyes. They were not red, they were normal, they were warm brown and caring and loving. But most importantly

They were Jongdae.

"J-Jongdae.." he trailed off, scared that history might repeat itself and he would be tricked again. If that happened Xiumin wouldn't know how to deal with it again. It would've been too much for his already broken heart.

And lucky for him, he wouldn't have to know what would've happened because Jongdae just grinned and showed him the beautiful goofy smile he loved.

"Good morning! Why are you looking at me like I just got revived from death? You know if you keep looking at me like that I will seriously consider taking you to a healer, I don't think it's healthy for someone to-"

"Oh shut up you rambling fool!" Xiumin threw himself at Jongdae who shut up and just gave him a sheepish smile. He sort of awkwardly patted Xiumin's hair before accepting the weird hug he was for some weird reason receiving.

"I never did grow out of my rambli-"

"I hope you never will." Xiumin sniffed, ignoring the people who crowded around Jongdae to explain what had happened. He tightened his hug, squeezing him more just to make sure he was real. That he was alive.

"Oh." Jongdae said very softly, looking at him with a guilty expression. Xiumin found himself pulling away and taking a step back, averting his gaze and biting his lip. His heart was pounding very fast, mind was a whirl of confusion and adrenaline.

"I-I. D-dae I," opening his mouth into soundless motions Xiumin couldn't prevent himself from taking another step back. The anger and hurt from before was slowly poisoning it's way back to his heart. It was making his ears ring with rage and pain.

Gulping slightly to try and swallow the lump that was slowly forming he backed up and turned around. He couldn't face Jongdae right now, not when he felt so unstable and drained at the moment. He had thought that he would be able to see Jongdae after all of that but he couldn't.

"I need to go."

Without pausing he walked out, breaking into a jog immediately after he passed the door. He kept running until his lungs burned with the need to rest, until his legs screamed at him to stop.

Until a voice called out his name.

Whipping his head towards the call Xiumin stopped, eyes burning with tears that he rapidly blinked. He stood up, debating if he should leave, he wasn't ready to face Jongdae right now. No, memories that haunted him burned inside him and screamed at him to stay away.

"Xiu! Stop! Stop running!"

Xiumin shook his head, stepping back with a gulp of air. He looked at Jongdae, his pale skin, tired eyes, his messy hair. He looked tired, exhausted even. The state he was in currently wasn't stable, too weak after all what happened.

"S-stay back."

Jongdae stepped forwards.

"I said stay back!" Xiumin yelled, ice shards appearing in front of him like a shield. The tips were sharp enough for Jongdae to freeze and back up. His eyes flitted towards the smaller man who panted in uneven breaths.

"Xiu, why are you running?" Jongdae's soft voice bounced around the empty hallway. The concern was clear in both his stance and eyes that Xiumin avoided looking at. Clenching his fist Xiumin shook his head.

"I-I need to stay away Dae. I can't-"

Memories of the night his first love was taken away ran through his mind like broken records playing over again and again. The screams and sounds of shattering glass ringed in his ears, the sound of thunder and breaking furniture haunted him.

Xiumin could his feel his heart speed up, the hallways felt as if they were closing in one him like the walls back in that night. His fast heart beat ringed in his ear, forcing him to remember his frightened heart of that night.

"You don't need to-"

"But I do!" Xiumin yelled, shaking his head. He wiped away the stray tear that betrayed him and dug his nails in his palm angrily. Jongdae just didn't understand that Xiumin was only trying to do what was best for them.

"Xiu, you're not going to hurt me," Jongdae took a small step forwards, the ice still as threateningly as before but it was clear by the way he stood that he wasn't afraid. He trusted Xiumin.

"You don't know that!" Xiumin stepped back, the screams echoing in his ears. He was back at that night, the sheets against his back, the lips in his neck. Blood, the blood spilling all over his room.

He could hear the same chuckles that had once been heaven to his ears now were cruel, their room, the room that had once been their heaven was now filled with an evil laugh taunting him. Torturing him.

"Stop! Stop! Don't come any closer!" he yelled, clamping his hands against his ears, begging for the screams and thunder to stop. He throat felt dry, pulse felt strong and fast. The ringing in his ear intensified.

_ **"I'll be fine Minnie, trust me."** _

"Xiumin!"

"No! Stop! Stop!"

Xiumin's screams echoed in the castle, his voice grabbing everyone's attention. The small fairy was curled up against the corner, cheeks full of tears that raced down his cheeks as he yelled in agony, his mind stuck in the past.

"Don't hurt him! Please don't hurt him!" He couldn't get enough air in, sobs and gasps were forced out of his lips.

** _"...everything's going to be okay..."_ **

"No! Stay back! Stop! Don't hurt him! Please stop!" Xiumin clawed at his arms, trembling hands scratching his neck where two punctures were as a reminder of that night. His cries and yells eventually led his friends towards him.

The ice shard had disappeared and instead all around Xiumin everything was getting covered in a thin layer of ice. The temperature had dropped significantly as the small fairy gasped, choking on his own tears.

"Xiumin!" Jongdae had ran towards him, reaching out towards his mate. But the second his fingers came in contact with Xiumin the fairy let out a piercing scream, scrambling away from him.

"Don't touch me! N-no! Get away!"

_ **"Ch-chen, s-st-stop. P-ple-please." Xiumin could feel his eyes slowly tear up, his heart was pounding loudly in his ears, his arms had fallen limply on his side and he was struggling to keep himself seated up. Any second now he felt ready to collapse.** _

_ **”Oh but you deserve this,” Chen’s red eyes glared at him, his lips curled into a scowl. “You killed me, you poisoned me with your blood. You deserve this.”** _

Jongdae's heart was breaking, tears burning in his eyes as he watched his mate break himself further with each scream that left him. He could see Xiumin tremble like a leaf, his eyes were lost, empty, no.

They were terrified.

Luhan, Baekhyun and Yixing were suddenly next to him. Asking what had happened for Xiumin to react like that. Jongdae shook his head, his voice cracking as he told them he didn't know.

"Minseok. Minseok it's me." Luhan called out softly, stepping forwards gently as his soothing voice interrupted Xiumin's desperate, frightened shrieks. His voice seemed to catch Xiumin's attention.

"Don't hurt him. Lu, don't hurt him please..." Xiumin whimpered, nails still clawing his neck that was red and bleeding. His eyes were a blank white but you could tell by the way he trembled he was petrified.

"It's ok Minseok, he's gone now," Luhan whispered softly, stepping forwards but then stopping when Xiumin scrambled back. He stopped and continued talking from where he was standing.

"He's gone. I killed him." Xiumin gasped, tears falling from his eyes that were slowly coming back. He touched his neck and upon touching something wet let out a painful yell, his shriek echoing in the entire castle.

"No, no, no, no, no." Luhan ran towards him, suddenly close. He whispered comforting words as he made his presence known slowly, waiting for Xiumin to realize and let him get closer.

"Min, he's not here now. It's just me, he's gone ok? He won't hurt you or himself anymore. You're ok now. I promise you I won’t hurt him." Luhan gently touched Xiumin's hand, the latter flinching at the contact but not pulling away.

"He's gone. He left me." Xiumin whispered, repeating the words over and over again. His entire body was trembling, tears seeming to never run out as the life slowly returned back to his eyes. They slowly returned back to their original color.

"He's dead, Lu," Xiumin gripped Luhan's shirt tightly as tears rolled down his cheeks. Luhan patted his hair, gently running his hand down his back in a comforting manner. He kissed Xiumin's forehead, saying nothing as he let the fairy ramble on.

"He left me."

The words seemed to make it worst as Xiumin cried harder, soaking his cousin's shirt. Luhan closed the wounds Xiumin had created and got rid of the redness in his arms and wrists.

”He’s in a better place now Xiu,” Luhan whispered softly, “he’s happier now. He’s fine.”. The words seemed to break down Xiumin harder who cried in longing, his heart breaking cries echoing in the land who weeped with him for his lost.

They were like that for what seemed like years. Slowly Xiumin's sobs slowed down, becoming more of hiccups that after a glass of water that Yixing offered were gone. He slowly away pulled from Luhan, looking around as he searched for his mate who in the middle of his grief had forgotten about.

"Dae." he whispered, guilt dropping into him like a punch in the stomach. He had been to occupied in the past, longing and grieving for his past mate that any concerns about his current one had left him.

Jongdae was sitting in the window, knees pulled towards his chest as he looked towards the horizon. The sky was still light, but by the way the sun was coming down twilight was coming towards them.

Jongdae turned his head and looked at him, his eyes sad and so much hurt was in that that Xiumin couldn't help but feel even worst. He walked towards his mate who said nothing, kitten lips still pulled down into a frown.

"He fucked you up real bad didn't he." Jongdae mumbled, sighing as the memories of what had happened just half an hour prior ran through his mind. Never would those memories leave his mind, they would haunt him even in death.

Xiumin looked down but nodded subtly. His past mate had left a big impact in him. Chen had not only been his first love, he had been the first one to love him so overwhelming and show him new things and feelings he'd never experienced before.

He had shown him what heaven felt like, what it felt like to be in the clouds. Had shown him the light even in his lowest and even when he had hit bottom loved him until his last breath. Chen had been the first one to show him what it meant to truly love.

He was also the first one to break his heart.

After the incident which had left him without speaking for a few years, Chen's absence tortured him and for many centuries those episodes would occur. He would feel as if he was back in that night, helpless and scared.

Nobody could ever wake him up.

Only Luhan who had been there was able to bring him back. His cousin was the only one who could comfort him without making it worst. Many tried to heal him, bringing him healers from all over the world, but nothing helped.

When Jongdae had first came along, the episodes worsen. They would happen more often, most of the times even worst that the actual event. Luhan could barely get Xiumin to come back at times.

Thankfully when Xiumin and Jongdae got together, the fairy slowly got better. Jongdae distracted Xiumin from his past lover, the similarities between them were always ignored by the older creature who was slowly learning to heal.

What had happened earlier had triggered the old wounds, opening them back up and with that came the episodes.

"I'm sorry." Xiumin whispered, eyes downcast to the floor. His apology seemed to make Jongdae sigh, the action filled with wariness and exhaustion. Xiumin bit his lip, wondering what that meant.

"Xiu, why are you apologizing. You can't control this," Jongdae shook his head. He got down from the window and hesitated before slowly wrapping his arms around Xiumin who stiffened but later relaxed.

"Listen, I don't mind this," Jongdae smiled sadly, "I don't blame you for what happened. You didn't ask for this to happen to you. What you went through left you with wounds even the best healers can't heal. And,". He released a sigh, the same hurt look in his eyes was back.

"I realize that you will never get over losing him." Xiumin felt even more guilty, he hated the sadness in his mate's eyes. His usual playful grin was replaced by the small smile that didn't suit his mischievous face. It looked so out of place.

"I can't replace him no matter how hard I try. A part of you will always belong to him and as much as if it hurts me," Jongdae squeezed his shoulder, raising his hand towards his lips. "He got you first, you will always love him and I can't change that."

"Dae, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." apologizing was the only thing Xiumin could do because denying what Jongdae had said would be lying. It was true, a part of him will always belong to Chen no matter how much Xiumin loved Jongdae.

"Don't apologize for loving someone Xiu. There's no need to apologize for that nor for the other things that came because of it." Jongdae shook his head as he enveloped Xiumin into another hug, lips kissing his forehead.

"As long as I love you and you're happy, I don't mind the other things. I admit it makes me sad what you went through because of him, but I can't change the past and I have to accept the reality that of it." he sighed, pulling back slightly to look at Xiumin in the eyes.

"All I ask is for you to be honest with me, even if it hurts me." he asked, voice soft and lovely, "Can you do that?". He tilted his head to the side, bangs shifting with his head movement.

Xiumin nodded, "I can do that."

"Then I'm all yours. I love you Minseok."

Xiumin couldn't help but remember another vampire who had told him the exact same words with a cocky smirk in his lips as he pulled his closer. His voice fond but arrogant at the same time. He remembered the kiss that followed and the way he was left breathless.

"I love you too," Xiumin paused, "Jongdae."

He almost expected a kiss to come next. For hands to pull him closer and lips hungrily kiss him as if he was the air they needed. He had even been preparing himself for the shortness of breath.

But instead of a kiss, arms tightened around him.

"Thank you." was all Jongdae said.

There was no kiss, no breathlessness nor cocky smirk.

There was only a soft smile.

Xiumin relaxed and gave in, tucking away the memory and instead captivating this one. Because this was Jongdae, not Chen. And the differences between the two was immense despite the clear similarities on physical features.

And the truth was, despite the Chen being his first love and Jongdae coming along later, Xiumin loved both. He appreciated everything they did (and had done) for him. The differences that many wouldn't notice pulled him closer, making him fall deeper for Jongdae.

Jongdae was his present while Chen had been his past.

And despite the many obstacles that it brought, in the end Xiumin was glad for what Chen had showed him and what Jongdae will continue to explore with him.


	2. The Perfect Past Is Only Ever Bittersweet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Looking back at past could only ever hurt Xiumin. But how could he ever forget when his heart and mind still lingered there.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dude I shit you not I was hating myself for starting to write this when I have 37 other one shots I need to finish.

"Hurry! Hurry! They're back!" a young fairy's excited screams echoed in the castle. The soft sound of wings buzzing rather quickly accompanied his yell. They were yet to develop into their color, showing that he was still a young fairy with much to learn.

Too much.

"Min slow down!" his cousin's voice screamed back, rushing after him, but the laugh that followed betrayed true annoyance. But how could anyone be annoyed at the young prince's excitement when even his feet would sometimes not even touch the ground because of anticipation.

Xiumin barely even heard him, feet barely touching the floor as his wings mostly carried him down the staircase and into the entrance of the castle. He didn't have time to acknowledge everyone that tried to greet him, yelling apologies at each greeting.

But finally, after what felt like eternity, he saw him.

“Chen!” before said person could even blink the young fairy had thrown itself at him.

Lucky for both of them, Chen had fast reflexes and caught Xiumin before he could hit the ground. And to make it even more romantic (dramatic), he wrapped his arms around his waist and twirled him around for a few seconds.

“You’re back!” Xiumin laughed, arms still around Chen’s neck even when he was put down on stable ground. He beamed up at his mate, his mate he had just mated with almost a year ago.

“Of course I am,” Chen’s usual grin decorated his pretty lips, “why wouldn’t I be? I told you I would be back in 4 days, you know I always keep my promises.”. His voice had that familiar cockiness Xiumin loved and hated at the same time.

“But that felt like forever~” Xiumin couldn’t help the small whine. He tugged Chen’s nape to bring him closer, whining when his mate only kissed his forehead.

“Aw, did my little Minnie miss me?” Chen teased fondly, finally giving in to kiss Xiumin who tried to bring him closer. His hands pulled Xiumin towards him, smirk curling on his lips at the small gasp.

Xiumin immediately felt the same electricity like feeling rush over his body once their lips touched. The feeling that his breath was taken away left him gasping for air even as he desperately tried to kiss Chen more and more.

“Hey! I thought we agreed that the making out was to be left in your chamber!” Luhan’s annoyed scream interrupted their sweet reunion.

“The last the time I checked that was only you that agreed to that!” Chen lifted an eyebrow with a smirk still on his lips. “I made no such agreements!”.

Xiumin tugged his shirt that was made of soft silk any other day he would’ve tried to grab for himself. But at the moment all he wanted was for Chen to return back to what he was doing.

And by what he meant himself.

“Chen,” he breathed out softly to grab his attention. It send a pleasing buzz down his body when immediately the attention was brought back to him.

Chen leaned down to kiss his lips again, tugging his bottom one in between his teeth and sucking it softly making him gasp. Luhan’s protesting screams drowned into the background.

“I missed you.” Xiumin finally parted enough to murmur that at least. His heart was filled with warmth at seeing Chen’s playful eyes holding that same soft look in them directed towards him.

“Let’s go to your chamber,” Chen suggested, tilting his head down to press a small kiss on his neck. “You can show me how much you missed me there.”.

Xiumin’s breath hitched at Chen’s words, face flushing a bright red. He knew what Chen meant by that and just because they had done it various times before did not meant it felt any less different.

“B-but brunch is starting soon.” he didn’t deny the hand brushing over his arm despite his words. It brought a shiver down his spine feeling the soft brushes teasing over his skin.

“It’s not going to go anywhere if we’re a bit late,” Chen’s lips ghosted over his own, striking silver eyes forcing Xiumin to relax. And like always, they worked their magic and made the young fairy melt under their gaze.

“Ok.” he breathed out.

“Great.” Chen tugged his hand towards the staircase, guiding him back to his chamber where there was no sleeping to be going on for a while.  
______

Xiumin was late for brunch and Chen shouldn’t be laughing because his mother will kill him. After showing Chen exactly how much he ‘missed’ him Xiumin had fallen asleep. His body was still new to the whole thing therefore he didn’t have a lot of stamina. (Chen could barely be smug when he was in the same position.)

“Stop laughing.” Xiumin wanted to yell but his throat felt a bit sore making it come out a bit croaky instead. He huffed in annoyance when Chen only laughed more.

“It’s all your fault.” he pushed Chen to the side, pouting yet again. But he seemed to have forgotten that small tiny detail that when he pouted Chen would instinctively lean down to kiss it away.

Unfortunately Xiumin didn’t exactly know how to say ‘no’ to Chen. So when felt hands slide down his hips and push him against the wall all he really did was open his mouth enough to let him slide in.

“Of course it is Minnie, it’s always my fault.” Chen chuckled in amusement, squeezing his hips just enough to make Xiumin burst into small giggles.

He let his nose wonder down to his neck and nuzzle the skin there, breathing in his sweet scent that reeked of his own once more. Soft laughs from his mate reached his ears, sweet and warm like always.

He never wanted to hear them stop.

“We’re going to be more late.” Xiumin hummed, brushing his ebony black hair back knowing that Chen liked that. He didn’t try to go towards the dining hall despite his words.

“We’re already late, what’s the harm in just a bit more.” Chen mouthed the mating mark he was very proud of have made. It was still very new and every time he saw the small whirl of storm it made a satisfying thrill set his nerves buzzing.

“Mother will get mad at me,” Xiumin had never been one to break rules, always playing it safe. He was already dangerous enough as it was, there was no need to put anyone else in danger.

“Then she can get mad at me instead.” Chen in the other hand was exactly the opposite. The young explorer was always seeking for adventure, overconfident in his skill to both persuade and survive.

“But I don’t want her to be mad at you.” Xiumin frowned at the thought. He pressed his lips against Chen’s cheek, blushing a soft pink at the latter’s grin.

“Shut up.”

“But I didn’t say anything Minnie,” Chen oh so helpfully pointed out, trapping him against the stone wall. He always enjoyed seeing Xiumin flustered, teasing him to get those reactions he loved.

“You were doing that-thing!” Xiumin tried to explain, making weird hand signs.

“What thing?”

“That-you know!” Xiumin huffed out in frustration, subconsciously making Chen grin more at his cute expression.

“But I don’t know.”

“Yes you do!” Xiumin pouted, looking up at him with his wide cat like eyes. Chen, as if pulled by a magnet force, dived in to kiss his soft lips.

“No I don’t.” he grinned, nipping Xiumin’s bottom lip to tease him further.

“Yes you-“

“Prince Xiumin, your mother is waiting for you and Lord Chen to start brunch at the dining hall.” a soldier interrupted them.

Chen pulled away from his flustered mate and nodded at the soldier. “We’ll be there. Please tell the Queen to excuse our tardiness.”. The soldier bowed and left towards the dining hall to inform her highness of the request.

“I’m going to be in trouble now~” Xiumin buried his face in Chen’s shoulder, face warm from having been caught like that. At least it wasn’t as bad as the time a servant had caught them with his shirt half off.

“Come on then, we wouldn’t want your mother to have more reasons to dislike me.” Chen started to walk after the soldier who had already disappeared with a flutter of wings.

“She loves you, nobody dislikes you.” Xiumin mumbled, clinging into his arm out of habit. It was true, despite being cocky and awfully arrogant everyone seemed to like Chen.

Xiumin considered himself very lucky the day Chen had seen him in the ball three years ago. There had been a lot of beautiful creatures attending, even more gorgeous fairies here and there.

But for some reason the only person Chen, the youngest explorer and strongest vampire, had seen was the equally young fairy prince. They had talked very softly, excited to meet someone they had heard so much about.

At the end of the night, when the ball had ended, Xiumin had been promised by the vampire that they would meet again. A kiss on his hand and one in his cheek was all it took for him to turn into a blushing mess.

The next time turned out to be the very next day when his mother had invited Chen to a formal dinner due to some business they had together.

Seventeen year old Xiumin could’ve honestly cared less about some boring business. However, when seeing exactly who, his interested had peeked immensely.

There he had been. With his carefully styled ebony black hair, intense silver eyes, predatory cat like smile that spelled trouble. And lastly, his honeyed quick words that Xiumin knew could hide a billion things.

“Chen, Léi Chen. Pleasure to meet you my prince.” he once again lifted his hand to his lips, pressing a soft kiss at the back of his hand.

“The pleasure is all mine.” it truly had been. With his heart beating out of his chest ever so loudly, pulse rushing too quickly leaving him lightheaded. It had truly been a pleasure just seeing Léi Chen again.

“And you wonder what feeds my ego.” Chen laughed, entering the dining hall where the Queen and her King were seated side to side at the head of the table. The rest of the people were in the sides.

“Mother! Please excuse our lateness!” Xiumin bowed down, face heating up in embarrassment at being the center of attention. “I fell asleep after Chen came back.”.

“Your highness,” Chen send her a quick grin, giving a half bow, “nice seeing you once more. I do apologize for keeping your son from being on time. We were a little busy.”.

“I see the mountains of the Middle East have done you nothing.” the Queen raised her eyebrow, nodding at them to sit down and join her to eat.

“I’m afraid it has not.” Chen raised Xiumin’s palm to his lips. The action send Xiumin’s heart fluttering pleasantly. He loved every affectionate touch Chen always showered him with.

“Then I am overjoyed to welcome you back.” the Queen send him a warm smile, extending her palm towards the food. “I do however would prefer you keep my son from making this tardiness a habit.”.

“Can’t promise anything my Queen.” Chen chuckle, intertwining their fingers into a loose hold. Xiumin squeezed his hand gently, delighted at the response he got back.

“Will you at least promise me to try?”

“That I can do.” Chen didn’t add the part where he would try his ‘best’ seeing she hadn’t asked specifically for that. All she had said was to try and that he would do.

“Xiumin.”

“Yes!” Xiumin snapped his head to look at her. He turned his attention from Chen towards his parents at the head of the table.

“Please do fix your collar before we start brunch, it’s bad manner to eat dressed like that.” his hands rapidly reached out to fix it, buttoning up correctly.

“Let us eat.”  
_______

Laying down the gardens in the middle of spring when the flowers were in full bloom and the sun caressed his skin ever so warmly was one of Xiumin’s favorite things in the world.

The first was Chen.

“I want to bring you in my next trip to a cave far in the West Minnie,” Chen looked up to the clear sky, soft grass entangled in his tousled messy hair.

Xiumin snuggled closer to him, keeping one hand loosely holding his blouse and the other in between them. His head rested in his chest, legs tangled together.

“Hmm? What will it be this time?” he breathed in his familiar scent that he was sure still lingered on the sheets of his bedroom. It smelled like home and nothing else would ever make him feel this secured.

“There’s someone I want you to meet.” Chen kissed his hair, sliding his hand down into his back so Xiumin laid entirely on top of him. He nuzzled his nose on his neck, kissing anywhere he could reach first.

“A new friend?” Xiumin perked up at the possibility. It was actually very often Chen would make a new friend in one of his adventures. He was quite the social butterfly after all.

“I’m hoping.” Chen tugged his nape to bring him into a breathtaking kiss. It was hot, it set his body on fire and forced a small whimper past his lips.

But he didn’t care because every touch that Chen put on his body brought him pleasure. Chen was his mate and his body was his, Xiumin had surrendered that to him the night they had first made love.

It had been, magical. Everything. From the time they talked about being sure they wanted to do it for the first time to the moment Xiumin had felt the mark being made. It felt as if more than their bodies had connected that night, their souls would from then on stay intertwined until the end.

Until they end they had promised.

“Chenchen,” Xiumin moaned softly against his lips, rolled back to the ground and pinned down. He raised his hand to tangle it on the soft hair he loved playing with. It was always so messy, tousled from many adventures, the wind and storm lingered in every strand.

“I’m here,” Chen whispered back, “I’ll always be here.”. Xiumin closed his eyes at the words, despite never feeling like he would ever lose Chen, he still enjoyed hearing him say it.

“I love you.” they parted from each other, Chen looking down at him with half of his face shadowed by the sun.

“I’ll always love you.” Xiumin promised.

“Only me?” Chen smirked as the words left his lips. He already knew the answer but still loved hearing that he was the only one in Xiumin’s heart.

“Only you.” Xiumin tugged his hair, smiling at him ever so lovingly. “I’ll never love anyone like I love you Léi Chen, nobody will ever compare. You’ll always be in my heart, my first love.”.

“Your last too.” Chen swooped in to steal another kiss. “You’ll only ever be mine Minnie. I’ll be the first and last man in your heart.” he didn’t want to share his Minnie with anybody, not now not ever.

“I’m yours Chen,” Xiumin assured him in between kisses, 

“Forever only yours.”.  
____

Xiumin shoot up from the bed, trembling against the cold air of December and desperately wiping tears from his eyes. But nothing could ease the pain in his heart, the longing for someone that wasn’t there anymore.

“Chen!” he screamed, hoping he would answer.

But no response.

“Please Chen!” his voice cracked, breaking down once more. “Please, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” the sheets felt so cold without him, bed so empty.

“Xiumin.”

“Chen.” he blurted out without thinking.

But it wasn’t Chen.

“I-I’m not Chen,” Jongdae murmured softly, “I’m sorry.”.

Jongdae.

Jongdae!

Xiumin’s eyes widen, snapping out of the state he had woken up in. Jongdae shuffled away from him, a small sigh leaving him. His face however could not lie to Xiumin.

He was hurt.

“Dae...” he whispered in guilt. Of course it was Jongdae, his mate. His mate who had tried so hard to fill in the hole the last one had made. The one who stayed up until late hours of the night, comforting every cry, plea and scream for a man Xiumin still broke for.

“I’m sorry.” but this time it wasn’t for the same reason, not the same person. This time it was for Kim Jongdae, not particularly the most famous vampire, but one with the biggest hearts.

“Dae I’m sorry.” he crawled towards Jongdae, hesitatingly touching his bare shoulder. Jongdae didn’t shrug him off but didn’t turn around either.

“You don’t have to apologize Xiu.” Jongdae sighed yet again. “It will never be your fault.” Jongdae truly believed that Xiumin one day would get better, but after years the name Xiumin cried for every night wasn’t his.

It was Chen’s.

“It’s my fault that you’re hurting,” Xiumin got up from where he was, ignoring the cold that bit his naked skin. That could wait, Jongdae couldn’t.

“Dae I’m hurting you, I know I am.” he sat down in front of him. Reaching out he cupped his cheek and gently caressed it. Thankfully Jongdae didn’t pull away.

“And I’m sorry. I swear I am trying to at least make a bit of progress, but,” his heart still lingered in the past, “it’s hard. It’s so hard to move on no matter how hard I try.”.

Even after almost three thousand years, his broken heart couldn’t heal when every night the wound would break open again. The bitterness of falling asleep where everything was back to what it was and waking up to find him gone.

It broke him

“I know Xiu,” no he didn’t, but he wanted to understand, “he left you scars that won’t heal right away. I know you need time, I understand.” But that didn’t mean it hurt any less.

Xiumin looked down in disappointment of himself. Jongdae was one day going to break, one can only hurt for so much until they shatter. He didn’t want to break Jongdae, he never wanted him in the state he was.

“I’ve had thousands of years to heal Jongdae, time won’t mend me,” he finally admitted. “I’m hurting you so much for something that happened so long ago even history has forgotten it’s details. It’s not fair for you.”.

“Do you want me gone?” Jongdae’s heart stopped for a second. “Is that why you’re always telling me that you won’t better? Xiu, I don’t care how long I have to wait, I want to be with you.”.

His eyes filled with tears at the thought of Xiumin not wanting him anymore. He didn’t care that his heart still belonged to another man, even a fragment of his affection was enough for him.

“No!” Xiumin jerked back, “Never! God no! Jongdae I would never do that to you!”. He threw himself at Jongdae, hugging him as tight as he could without squeezing too much.

“I’m sorry if I make it sound like that,” they laid down in their bed. “I just, it’s so hard for me watching you stay by my side and hurt yourself while I am in the exact same place I was centuries ago. I’ve made no progress, I’m sorry.” it hurt admitting that even with Jongdae nothing had changed.

“But I don’t want you gone. Call me selfish but I can’t watch you leave me too Dae. You’re the only reason I haven’t tried to end everything. It might not seem like it but you’re already helping me survive.” that was right.

Jongdae was his reason for surviving.

He might not make him forget Chen, he doubted anybody could. But Jongdae helped him survive the dark place he had been stuck in for centuries. He sometimes even thought of a future where the pain would ease and the sadness would only sting instead of strangle him.

Jongdae was his hope.

“One day Xiu, one day you’ll look back at him and you won’t hurt so much anymore,” Jongdae brushed his hair back, kissing his cheek as he blinked back tears. “I’ll be there, I’ll be right next to you when that day comes.”.

“Promise.” Xiumin croaked, voice breaking and tears filling his eyes once more.

“Xiu...”

“Promise me Dae.” he needed something to hold on to. Something to cling into when times were rough and his ground was shaking once more.

“I can’t.”

“Why?”

“Because someone already promised you something they couldn’t fulfill.”

“You’re not him!” Xiumin didn’t understand. He didn’t want to understand why Jongdae couldn’t promise him what would give him peace of mind for some time.

“I’m not.” Jongdae agreed with a sad smile grazing his lips. “That’s why I can’t make the same mistakes he did. I can’t make you a promise I don’t know for sure I will be able to finish. Life is too unpredictable and I won’t be able to forgive myself if I hurt you too.”.

“Why Dae, why?” Xiumin couldn’t stop the tears stop from leaving his trembling body.

“Because I love you Xiu. I love you so much that even the possibility of hurting you it too much of a risk.” Jongdae didn’t want to cry but holding Xiumin wasn’t helping.

“I’m sorry I’m so fucked up.” Xiumin held tightly into the only source of happiness and light that had shined down on him after so many years of being in the cold bitter dark.

“It’s fine Xiu, I love you fucked up or not,” Jongdae forced a chuckle, bitter but a chuckle. “I’ll still be here for you 100 years or 1,000. I’ll never leave you voluntarily, that I can promise.”.

Jongdae wanted to stay by his side. Xiumin cracked a smile in between tears.

That was enough.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok so I wasn’t actually planning to end it like that. The original plan had been to only put Chen and Xiumin. But my fingers wouldn’t cooperate with me and finished it off with Jongdae and Xiumin. But hey! I write this in one day so yay!


	3. Love Is A Bittersweet Treasure

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jongdae knew Xiumin would never get over Chen, but even after 3 centuries his heart would still hurt at the end of winter and start of spring

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh I gave into the temptation of writing this part and I am ashamed I finished this under 5 hours while over there I have one shots from November of 2018 I still haven’t done

Chen

Chen

Chen

_Chen_

It was always about Chen.

“Shh,” he hushed, rocking Xiumin’s body back and forwards. “He’s fine now Xiu. He’s not hurting anymore, you helped him.” he wiped away the tears of his mate who once again had been haunted by nightmare of the past that seem to never leave him alone.

“I-I’m sorry! It’s my fault he-“ Xiumin sobbed, gasping rapidly try and breathe in. But he honestly didn’t care. He didn’t care if he could get air in or not because why should he be able to breathe while Chen wouldn’t ever be able to taste fresh air again.

“It’s not your fault. It never was and never will.” Jongdae reassured him but his words fell to deaf ears. Xiumin shook his head, pulling away from his arms and curling into a small sobbing ball. He couldn’t listen to Jongdae when the guilt still ate him away every day.

“Please just-just leave me alone.”

“Xiu-“

_“Please.”_

Jongdae bit his lip, standing up from their bed and looking at his trembling mate who looked so broken. His eyes were puffy but still forcing tears out, lips wobbling unsteadily to keep in sobs but they would betray him and some still slipped out. He was shaking so badly Jongdae just wanted to hug him until every hurt in his body was gone.

But he couldn’t do that.

“I-I’ll be in the living room.” his eyes were down casted on the floor to avoid catching Xiumin’s. He didn’t want to see his eyes so full of anguish for another man, for anybody. He never wanted to see him so broken and be so pathetically useless about it.

But there was nothing he could do when the person who had hurt Xiumin was from the past. When the person who still tortured Xiumin was breaking him because of his absence. His absence that Jongdae would never be able to fill.

Never.

Jongdae had once been hopeful to replace the hurt Chen had left behind with bright smiles and endless laughter. He had hoped for so long to erase the hole Xiumin’s past mate had created with being a beacon of endless light for everyone he could reach for.

But after three centuries, Chen was still a sore subject everyone tried to avoid mentioning in front of Xiumin. It would always bring glare towards the person who had said his name, Xiumin being the next victim for stares but this time filled with pity.

Jongdae listened with his heart breaking further to cries fill their house, screams and apologies echoing from their bedroom. The temperature dropped so fast at some point Jongdae knew Xiumin must be using his powers to remind himself of what he had done with them two thousand years ago.

“I’m sorry.” were the constant repeating words that echoed from Xiumin.

Jongdae knew why he was acting like this, why he was being so hard on himself. Why the nightmares plagued him more often and why he woke up screaming Chen’s name every time he closed his eyes.

Spring was coming.

Their anniversary when they first mated.

Jongdae faintly remembered Luhan telling him how they had chosen the start of spring as a symbolic sign of their relationship beginning like flowers after a storm. They had wanted their love to start from the beginning so they would not miss anything.

_“They used to be cheesy like that.”_

Yeah, Jongdae could see that.

Used to.

The most cheesy Xiumin would ever be with him was tell him he loved him every chance he got to. It would usually be him the one who had to plan out anything either be the dates Jongdae had made a habit to take them out every Friday. Or their anniversaries that he made a small dinner.

Xiumin would always say he didn’t need to because he would feel guilty he didn’t do anything. But Jongdae knew it was more than materialistic things that kept Xiumin in guilt when he did anything.

Xiumin would subconsciously always compare him and Chen. With small things like how they held hands, how big their smiles were, the way they kissed him and how his body reacted to their touch. He was always comparing them even if he didn’t notice.

Of course this hurt him. It reminded him that no matter how much he loved Xiumin, there would always be someone ahead of him. Someone who had him first, who knew him better, who loved him more, better than he did.

Sometimes when Jongdae stayed up late at night doing work or not being able to fall asleep, his eyes would trail their way to Xiumin’s sleeping form who was only ever peaceful when sleeping.

His hands would subtly reach out to someone, not Jongdae, but Chen. His lips would form his name over and over again, whispers of love declarations and sometimes even moan his name, body coiling in pleasure. Eyes, despite being closed, would be so happy and relaxed.

There had been nights Jongdae himself broke down from the ache in his heart. No matter what he did or what he learned or even strived to be; he was never as good as Chen and Xiumin would always unintentionally confirm it.  
_______

_“Chen,” Xiumin threw his head back, legs on the shoulders of his mate who knew his body like nobody else. “Chenny! Oh my god!” he screamed, clenching their bedsheets tighter in full fists._

_“That’s it, scream my name Minnie,” Chen panted on his ear, snapping his hips forwards bringing a yell from the young fairy. “Let the world know who you belong to, who fucks you like this.” he groaned in pleasure, keeping a firm hold on Xiumin’s hips._

_The sound of the oil they had used as lubricant accompanied Xiumin screams, his moans that echoed in their chamber. The erotic sound of skin slapping against skin entered from one of Xiumin’s ear to the other, mind too busy trying to catch up to the pleasure coursing through his body._

_“Chen!” he subconsciously pressed his ass harder against Chen’s thrusts making both of them shout at the action. His eyes were rolling back in absolute ecstasy, spine arching and sometimes meeting Chen’s naked chest._

_“Fuck! Minnie, fuck, you feel so good!” Chen kissed his neck, sucking new marks into his already covered skin. “I love you, so much. Love your body, love you, fuck! Love you so much!” the rhythm of his thrusts faltered when Xiumin twisted just right to make him hit his prostate more easily._

_Xiumin gasped at his body’s instinctive adjustment. Clenching the warm sheets against his back were not doing him anymore good nor were they releasing the tension of his incoming orgasm. That’s why his legs tightened around Chen’s shoulders, body almost folding in half at the position._

_He didn’t even know how he managed to be so flexible when half of the time he was flying and not doing anything else. (His best guess was probably because they had so much sex but don’t let Chen hear him say that aloud because he will just tease him that they could always have more.)_

_“Min!” Chen threw his head back, stilling his hips once thrusting deeply one last time to empty his twitching cock of all his come. Xiumin only needed to clench around him twice before he too was releasing his orgasm in strips of translucent white ropes._

_“Chen!” his eyes rolled back, still dilated and out of focus. The only thing he was aware of was the cum slowly leaking out of his hole, walls still tainted full of Chen and fluttering around him pleasingly to keep him from pulling out._

_“Th-thats 2 to 1.” Chen smirked at his delirious form, lowering his legs from his shoulders to let them rest of their bed. He laid down on top of his panting mate, still inside him and not having any plans to get out anytime soon._

_“You cheated the first time!” Xiumin responded once he could breathe in normally without his head pulsing. The blood finally settled down from his head making the black dots leave his vision. He was grateful for that, he liked seeing Chen’s face and not a blurry image._

_“How exactly? You were the one in control may I remind you mister-I’m-a-sore-loser.” Chen teased him in between kisses all ove_r _his face. “Just because your stamina is still lower than mine doesn’t mean you get to accuse me for being in the lead.”._

_“My stamina is not that low!”_

_Xiumin didn’t even know when they had started that dumb game of theirs. All he remembered was one day Chen talking about how plain sex was great and all, but he wanted a challenge that was pleasurable for both of them._

_Not much conversing later they eventually got into the idea of the person who made the other come more times out of three rounds would be at the other person’s mercy for an entire day. They could do whatever they wanted to the other, no limitations included._

_And well, Chen was competitive by heart and Xiumin was petty. They were perfect for each other that’s why it took no more than a few rules and decades later they were still playing that game._

_“And besides, you had your hand in my pants before I even touched you, that’s cheating!” Xiumin pointed out, pouting as more of a habit that really feeling the need to do it. Immediately lips touched his, soothing his pout away until a warm smile was all that was left._

_“You literally were sucking my dick before we even got back to our chamber.” Chen laughed at the flushed face of his mate. It didn’t matter how many decades they had been together nor the fact that he had stolen all of Xiumin’s innocence already; there was still a small part of Xiumin that always blushed at his words._

_“Th-that’s different!” Xiumin pushed his chest, tugging him back when he felt the cold creeping in. Chen let him snuggle into his arms, kissing his lips over and over again until they felt bruised and swollen. Even then he just started sucking more hickeys on his neck._

_“We both know it isn’t.” Xiumin huffed at his answer, letting a small giggle when feeling fingers tickle his stomach. He wasn’t even ticklish, but the sensation of Chen touching him always felt electrifying and send his body buzzing._

_“Yes it is.” he grinned up to his mate he loved more than anybody in this world. More than anybody he will ever meet and he was fine with that. The only person he wanted to love was Chen._

_And Chen made sure he was the only he will ever fully love._

_“Love you Minnie.”_

_“Mhmm, love you to Chenny,” Xiumin wrapped his arms around his neck, nuzzling his face against his shoulder to breathe in his scent. He might not have the sensitive nose of a vampire or a werewolf, but he still found comfort and security in Chen’s scent._

_“But you still cheated.”_

_“Oh you want me to show you who the real winner is again? Because baby, I would gladly do so.” Xiumin shivered at his low voice, flushing a bright red at the seductive purr._

_“Go ahead.” he challenged, (completely ignoring the fact that his ass will feel sore the next morning. He can ask Yixing to heal it but that would be the third time that week and he has a small suspicion that his friend is starting to get annoyed with him.)_

_“Do let me.”  
__________

Xiumin woke up on the floor the next morning, body stiff from the hard ground and trembling from the cold. The lights of the bathroom he had tried to destroy the night before were still on, flickering in and out of power.

He sighed, knowing he would have to ask Jongdae to fix them again. He could try and learn but that would require having to pay attention and he really didn’t feel like doing anything other than maybe cry the whole day away like he had been doing the entire month.

And three thousand years of every winter and spring.

The memories of that night had been of their little stupid game. Which unfortunately, as depressed as he was, his dick wasn’t half as so therefore he needed to take care of that. Asking Jongdae to help him get off for a boner that wasn’t for him would just be rude.

He was already hurting him enough.

“Mothefucking nature,” he hissed, “why do you love to fuck with me? What the hell do I ever do to you.”. A cold shower wouldn’t work to cool him down nor get rid of that annoying hard on he had. Trust him, he’d tried it before.

After taking care of that morning problem he started to clean up all the mess he had done. He didn’t need to bother Jongdae anymore than he already did. It was enough that he was pushing him away, making him clean up after his messes was just an asshole move.

“Hey Xiu,” talking about him. Jongdae knocked on the door, hesitating before opening in and peeking his head inside their bedroom. He caught Xiumin’s eyes and gave him a small smile, short and sweet and it made Xiumin feel guiltier.

“I’m about to make breakfast, do you want to eat anything in particular?” he asked, still not entering their half clean room. This made Xiumin frown, had he made it sound that bad that he didn’t want Jongdae there. He hadn’t meant to sound so harsh.

“You know you can enter right?” had it been any other day he would’ve raised an eyebrow to make it playful. But it was winter, the end of winter and the world just felt so heavy on his shoulders. There was no energy to feel anything other than sad, empty, practically numb.

Jongdae stepped inside, looking around their disorganized room. Xiumin couldn’t stand anything messy, when he was stressed he usually would clean. The only times he destroyed were in winter and spring, but quickly would clean it up.

“I do, I just wanted to give you space.” and time he would’ve added but Xiumin didn’t like mentioning time. He hated the ticking of the clock and hated more mentioning how long time has passed. It reminded him that time was limited, no mater immortal or not.

“You don’t have to do that Dae. I’m sorry I pushed you away last night, it was too much.” he went over to hug Jongdae, holding him tightly to reassure himself that Jongdae was in fact real and very much alive. That his scent wasn’t an illusion, that he voice wasn’t a dream and touch a lie.

That he was alive.

“It’s ok Xiu,” Jongdae wrapped his arms around his waist, knowing what Xiumin was trying to do. “Don’t apologize. I know it’s a hard time for you right now, it’s the end of winter after all.” his eyes soften, lips barely curling upwards.

Xiumin buried his face in his shoulder to avoid facing anything. The end of winter, spring was but a month near. February the twentieth was too close to the middle March, their spring and his birthday. It was too soon no matter how many years had passed.

“It will be,” he just finished crying, he shouldn’t have anymore tears to choke on. But why did he seem to have an endless amount of them at disposal at this time, “it would’ve been our 3 thousand years.”.

Jongdae kissed his cheek to ignore the sting in his own heart. He knew Xiumin had kept count of the years, but hearing just how long, had the accident not happened, they would’ve been happy and in love together made his heart hurt.

He was never a selfish person and he hated that he was a bit grateful that the accident happened. And that made him feel so horrible because Xiumin cried everyday because of it. It made him feel like the worst person for being grateful for the one effect the accident had brought.

It gave him Xiumin.

He would’ve never met Xiumin had the accident never taken place. He wouldn’t have been able to ever hold Xiumin in his arms, to kiss him reassurances and love him until he couldn’t anymore. He wouldn’t have been able to have Xiumin.

But at the same time, Xiumin wouldn’t break down every day. He wouldn’t hurt and cry every night in longing because Chen would be right next to him, still alive and well and very much in love. They would’ve been so happy and none of the tragedies would’ve touched them.

_“They were perfect for each other.”_

From the way Xiumin still longed for him, Jongdae didn’t need someone to tell him that Xiumin had been absolutely and utterly in love with Chen. And that Chen had returned it just as strongly, as warmly and given Xiumin a glimpse of heaven.

Jongdae unfortunately could only show him earth.

“I’m sorry, I know this hurts you. I’m so sorry Dae that you have to keep listening ramble about someone else.” Xiumin bit lip, wiping his tears with shaky hands. “I’m always talking about Chen, especially in winter and spring and it must annoy you-“

“Never Xiumin.” Jongdae quickly shook his head. “What you went through is something nobody should go through. You lost Chen, your mate, the person you loved the most,” it hurt him admitting it yes, but it was the truth.

“I would never be able to be annoyed at you for hurting. If I had been in your position I don’t know what I would’ve done with myself. I probably wouldn’t have even given anybody a chance, much less someone who looks so much like my past mate.” he was extremely lucky Xiumin even bothered to look at him once.

“You being able to talk about him, to not bottle up your feelings until you’re too deep in it’s already enough. Chen, he made you happy,” Chen had made Xiumin more than happy. “He showed you so much just for life to take it away so easily was not fair.”.

“We’ve been over this a thousand times and I don’t care if I have to repeat it a million more.” Jongdae pressed their foreheads together, forcing Xiumin to look at him in the eyes. Xiumin tried to avoid it but in the end relaxed, gazing back at him, scared to find them annoyed with him.

They weren’t.

“You matter to me, just the way you are. I admit it does hurt me to see you like this, it breaks me hearing you cry at night and waking up to know that I can’t help you. But being angry at something you can’t control will do nothing; absolutely nothing so what’s the point when I could be supporting you instead.” Jongdae wiped a stray tear from his cheek.

“Chen, he was someone who impacted your life in every way, there’s no way you can’t talk about him when for centuries he was there. He is part of your past, before I even was in the picture, he was with you and I can’t change that.” he saw the way Xiumin blinked back rapidly.

“The end of winter is a sensitive subject and it will always be, the same with the start of spring. I can’t be annoyed for dates that are important to you. Just like October means something to me, winter and spring mean something to you. I can never be annoyed at that.” Jongdae knew he needed to give Xiumin space but it was so hard to not hug him.

“Don’t think of me someone who only wants you in the good times. I’m here for the bad times as well, I swore that 3 centuries ago and I would be a fool to even think of breaking my promise.” Xiumin didn’t pull away nor did he try to avert his eyes.

“I love you Dae, how you put up with all my shit is beyond me but thank you.” Xiumin gave in and leaned forwards, kissing Jongdae with a desperation of a starving man. And he was, starved for love, happiness, comfort. He was starved so bad that he barely even remembered what it felt like.

“Thank you so much,” Xiumin raised his hand to put it on his nape, pulling him towards him in a longing mess of lips. He needed to feel alive right now, for someone to set his body on fire and love him until he could drown. He needed Jongdae because he was the only that could do that to him.

He guided them to their bed, shoving things out of it to the ground to be able to lay in it comfortably. Jongdae landed on top of him, in between his thighs and lower region pressed against his ass in a familiar manner.

“Dae,” he moaned, grinding down just right to get Jongdae’s breath hitching. “Fuck me, fuck me please.” he whispered as he trailed his hand down to his pants. He had already reached his belt when Jongdae stopped him midway.

“No Xiu.” Jongdae shook his head despite his dick obviously interested by the way it had raised up at the words of his mate. “You’re not in the right state of mind right now. I can’t take advantage of you like this, that’s wrong.”.

“I want this.” Xiumin insisted.

“You want me to make you forget,” Jongdae corrected softly, “you think I haven’t noticed? The last few weeks of every winter you make me fuck you until you’re too drunk to remember anything. I can’t do that again this time, you can’t keep running like this.”.

Xiumin stopped trying to undo his belt, “I need to focus on something else Dae. You, you make forget that only pain exists. That I can still get pleasure in this world.”. He let his chin be lifted to look at Jongdae.

“You make me sound like a rebound.”

His eyes widen. “You’re not! You never were! Dae you don’t actaully-“

“Of course not.” Jongdae finally laughed, “but I really have to stop bending to your every wish. I won’t fuck you until the first few weeks of spring have passed. That’s enough time for you to face those days without a distraction.”.

“That’s a long time without sex.” Xiumin mumbled kissing him again but without the intention of taking their clothes off. Actaully, he was still stripping them, but he wasn’t planning on having sex.

He understood what Jongdae was trying to do and he was silently thankful. He didn’t think he would ever be able to do that by himself. Distractions to facing something one doesn’t want anything to do with was addicting. Putting a stop to it was hard.

“And a lot of time being sober.” Jongdae smiled, really smiled. With his kitten curled lips facing upwards and small crinkling lines appeared at the corner of his eyes. It was soft and calm, too loving for Xiumin to not feel moved.

“At least let me take care of this,” he trailed his finger over the bulge. Immediately his tongue came out to lick his lips, unintentionally biting his lower one. “I did cause it after all.”

“Nope! I said I wasn’t.”

“You’re serious about this?”

“Very much so.”

Xiumin’s eyes soften, his heart fluttering pleasantly against his chest. Jongdae was trying really hard to help him despite him always being so negative about his situation. He didn’t deserve Jongdae but he still thanked faith for giving him Kim Jongdae when he needed him the most.

“I love you Xiu.” Jongdae whispered.

Jongdae was a bittersweet love Xiumin wouldn’t trade for anyone or anything. Not money, not jewels, not an entire country. Jongdae was an unparalleled experience. And loving him was the most priceless treasure he had ever gotten.

“And I love you too Dae.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m leaving this story on an open note! That means this story is finished but there will probably be times in the future where I randomly add another part. It won’t affect the end of the story from the first chapter but will show small parts that continue from then on. But it’s finished so don’t think you have to wait for me to update! It’s done ^~^


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